Rahul Gandhi, I judge you!

-->

Rahul Gandhi, I judge you. I tell you, I judge you.

Could you stop being so decent at all times and lash out in anger and frustration like the rest of us? Don’t you ever feel like kicking the posteriors of the bhakts who’ve been posting Pappu jokes and abusing them publicly? Don’t you want to lash back at Ms. Irani’s snarky remarks, who despite never having won an election, has the audacity to call you out for political ineptitude. You could’ve at least joked about her weight like the Vice President did for another lady in your party. Rahul, I suspect that you’ve been reading too much of the Mahatma’s autobiography and learning the wrong lessons..

Indians, timid as we are, like our leaders to be angry bullying men. (or women who behave like angry bullies).  We secretly dream of the Suryavansham dad heading the country, where we don’t have to make any decisions or accept any personal responsibility, only follow orders. We despise any show of humility (unless to our bosses) or humanity. Our alter ego is The Hulk, though in real life most of us find it difficult to stand up to our parents, our bosses or often even to our kaam wali bai. Mr. Modi’s personality is an accurate reflection of this complex. We love his boasts of a 56-inch chest, despite that in reality Chinese have made military bases at Doklam right under his nose and even Nepal refuses to give us much bhav anymore. He is the lion of Gujarat, though he was unable to stop riots in Gujarat or ensure justice for the victims.

That is why the Sanghis love your grandmother or at least hates her the least among the Gandhis. Even though she put a lot of them in jail, there is grudging admiration for the iron lady for her war with Pakistan, for the operation Blue star, even for the Emergency. Remember the Mahatma’s assassination and how a lot of Hindu middle class deem it ‘necessary’?  Don’t you see how lustily the educated middle class Indian is cheering the extra judicial killings in the monk’s UP? Don’t you see how much we like lynching as a tool of justice, where no one is accountable?

I recently read an article on how the Congress needs an enemy to win. BJP has a clear enemy: the Muslims and seculars. But Rahul, you go around proclaiming publicly that you don’t hate anybody. That you don’t even want to ensure a BJP-mukt bharat. Like, really? Haven’t you ever heard of grudges? We’ve been holding one against the Islamic invaders for a thousand years. And now that we can finally be assured that the ‘their’ people (who have nothing in common with the invaders, except their religion), don’t have the numbers or power to kill us anymore, we carry out these naked sword processions vrooming our bikes and rioting. But only when we’re sure the state is with us.

And really, what is this about feeling sorry for Prabhakaran’s family when you saw his dead body? Where is this empathy with other human beings coming from? We don’t want any such thing. Next you will be saying that you see why some people might become alienated from the country due to circumstances. That human rights are for all humans, all Indians are really equals. 

What if you become the PM and decide to try and change the political climate to bring back the alienated people to the fold, instead of just satisfying our bloodlust to see how many of our disenfranchised citizens we can kill everyday. Soon you will be lecturing us on why we should love the people of Kashmir or the tribals as much as we seem to love their land. Or do more to rehabilitate the Pandits rather than use them merely as whataboutery debate points. Then where will we be without all our hate and fear? We might actually have to accept personal responsibility for mess we’ve made of our country.

Even if you can’t get rid of your compassion, you could at least learn tips in hypocrisy from our right wing NRI brethren, who mostly having studied in IITs n IIMs made by your great grandpa, now spend their office time sharing vile fake memes about him. Or enjoy equal rights as minorities in first world secular countries, but cheer for the murder of the rights of minorities and seculars in India. Frankly Rahul, your lack of hate and hypocrisy is the best indication of your not being a true blue Indian.  Conquer your revulsion of hatred, learn to make us fear you and we might make you our PM.

PS: The fact I can address you as Rahul without getting a 100 abusive tweets is in itself a negative comment on you. I bet even modijee’s family are not allowed to refer to him as Narendra.  Get a grip.